If you're scared, you know you're doing it right.

When I started my exploration into the world of “creating your dreams,” “manifesting the life you want” and all the other Law of Attraction type viewpoints, I was a firm believer in “if it’s meant to be, the path will be clear.” The unspoken part of that belief was that the path would also be easy and free of all obstacles.

I have since discovered what a silly idea that is… while I still tend to try to avoid fear (don’t we all?), I have learned what an important teacher it can be. Yes, heart-stopping fear is still an indicator of the need to assess what’s going on and possibly get out of danger. However, the butterflies-in-the-stomach, “I think I’m gonna throw-up” fear can actually be a really good sign that you’re on the right track.

My daughter is a gymnast. After her last practice before the State level competition she was telling me about her uneven bars routine and how much she’s improved since her first competition.  Then she told me how she knows that she’s doing the skill correctly:

If you're scared...

“If you’re scared, you know you’re doing it right.”

Wow! Yes, I know that fear can be an indicator of stretching yourself, your skills and your courage. But it took me to the ripe old age of, well, never mind, it took me a long time to learn that. And here she is, having learned it already. What a blessing. What a boon. What a great teacher she is for me.

Avoiding all fear leads to a life that’s lived smaller and smaller. Accepting that fear is part of the process leads to a life filled with open vistas, new opportunities and great accomplishments.

What’s your relationship with fear?


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A Flood of Fear – some ways out

It’s startling how quickly a small thing can bring back the full-on physical and emotional response of a trauma.

Main Street NewtownYesterday brought a scare to our town when a “soft-lockdown” was instituted in the schools after a threatening call to an elementary school in town. Everyone is safe. No one was injured. All is well. But my hands still shake as I type this and all I day I have been remembering the events of the morning of December 14th. Please continue to pray for the families in Newtown.

The thing that keeps striking me is that my family and I are at least a few circles removed from “ground zero” of that event. We are not anywhere near as directly impacted as so many around us. Yet, the fear is real and palpable, even for us.

Fear is more than a simply a mental state. If effects both the physiology of the body and the chemical balance of the brain as well. When people are afraid it generates stress. Extreme stress can manifest itself physically in a number of ways.

read more: http://www.wingchuncenter.com/Articles/art01.htm

It’s as if the whole town is in the midst of PTSD.  I see the signs all around me.

The first recommendation for the treatment of post traumatic stress disorder is psychotherapy, “talk therapy.” Part of the reason that this kind of therapy is beneficial is that it can educate on the effects  of trauma, it can also help us to learn to relax and find healthier ways to handle the stress of fear and anger.

Another very handy tool to remove the charge from fear is the releasing fixed attention exercise from a book called ReSurfacing by Harry Palmer. Releasing fixed attention can help you free up the stuck thought patterns around a fearful or traumatic event. It works the way we already operate… talk about the trauma, talk about something else, talk about it some more, talk about something else, and so on. But the exercise does it in a more efficient and deliberate manner.

I know ours is not the only trauma in the world today, lately we seem to be surrounded by it. I feel it’s more important than ever to reach for a future filled with kindness, compassion and peace and we all know it’s the Man (or Woman) in the Mirror who can begin to make that happen.